Without effective protection methods to stay them cornered, victims of emotional vampires typically develop unhealthy behaviors and symptoms, like deadly sin, isolating, mood swings, or feeling washed-out. They conjointly get drawn into unhealthy relationships.
Here area unit 5 common styles of emotional vampires we frequently encounter, tailored from the book The Ecstasy of Surrender, along side some “silver bullet” tips for fending them off.
Type #1: The Passive-Aggressive Person. this kind of lamia expresses anger with a smile or exaggerated concern–but continually maintains their cool. they're specialists at sugar-coating hostility.
Self-Defense Tips: jilting of timidity and trust your gut reactions. Tell yourself that you simply need to be treated a lot of fondly. Address their behavior. In a calm, firm tone you may say, “I would greatly appreciate it if you'll air time once we exit to dinner.” If nothing changes, keep setting limits with this person and cut back on the time you pay with them.
Type #2: The Narcist. For this lamia, everything is regarding them. they're ego-centric, chesty, and starved for admiration and a spotlight. they will be charming and intelligent–until their guru standing is vulnerable.
Self-defense Tips: get pleasure from their sensible qualities, however have realistic expectations. Their expression is “me-first,” thus obtaining angry or stating your desires won’t have any impact on them. watch out for this kind, as a result of narcissists lack sympathy and area unit incapable of unconditional love. you will be able to get their cooperation, however, by appealing to their self-interest and showing them however your request can profit them.
Type #3: The Anger Addict. This lamia deals with conflict by inculpative, attacking, undignified, or criticizing. Some anger addicts withhold things, or resort to victimisation the rebuff to penalise you.
Self-defense Tips: Don’t let their anger deal with your shallowness. Pause once agitated. Take many slow breaths to relax, and don't respond till you're in a very targeted place. try and keep neutral and balanced, and disarm the person by considering them or acknowledging their position. Then state your case. It’s conjointly helpful to sympathise with anger addicts. raise yourself what pain or inadequacy makes them thus angry.
Type #4: The Guilt Tripper. These varieties area unit foremost blamers, martyrs, and drama queens. They knowledge to form you are feeling unhealthy regarding one thing by pressing your insecurity buttons.
Self-defense Tips: jilting of the notion that you simply got to be good. everybody makes mistakes. If you are feeling very guilty, notice a personal place and let yourself cry. you'll conjointly reply with a positive statement like, “I will see your purpose of read. however once you say unhealthy, my feelings area unit hurt. I’d be grateful if you didn’t keep repetition it.”
Type #5: The Gossip. These busybodies enjoyment of talking regarding others behind their backs, putt them down, and spreading catty rumors. once they do that, everybody around them feels slippy.
Self-defense Tips: Don’t worry regarding what this person worries you, and don’t take gossip in person. Rise to the next place and ignore it. However, you will be able to get them to prevent by oral communication, “Your comments area unit hurtful. however would you wish it if others talked regarding you wish that? Please stop oral communication this stuff regarding Maine.” If you’re in a very cluster, modification the topic. Also, ne'er share data with a gossip.
